Huck Goes to Granville
by floppybelly
Summary: This was a class assignment we did after reading the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, where we have to write a story about Huck coming to our high school. Here's the crazy whackedout barely comprehensible result.


Huck Goes to Granville

Note: All names of people used in this story were changed, and Huck Finn belongs to Mark Twain.

Well I don' exactly know what happen'd durin' that mighty storm, but when Jim 'n' I woke up, next we knew was bein' stuck in the mud o' some river bed creek. I had no idea where we were, or how we was gonna get our raft back out to the river, so I decided now was as good a time as any to do some 'xplorin.

"You stay here," I told Jim, "I'll come back for you ifn' the 'vironment's friendly-like." Jim agreed, but only 'cause he knowed he was a wanted man. So I clambered up the creek bed and pushed my way through the bushes. My po' eyes never saw such a thing! I came right out on top o' some big black rock that went on as far as the eye could see- and a-comin' right for me was the likes of I'd never seen. I had no idea what the thing was, so I dove right out of the way just as I heard a terrible screechin' racket and a big ol' hollerin' sound. The thing rolled away jus' as quick, followin' the flat black rock. And along came a nother one from th' other direction, so I just went a runnin' off to th' other side. There was another flat rock that went on and on, but it was smaller and broken up inta squares. People was walkin' on it, so I fig'red I'd walk on it too until I found out where the heck I was. Then I saws this big ol' blue sign that says, "Granville High School."

"That ain't a good sign," I muttered to myself, school at home was bad enough. And if this'n had it's own sign, well…. That sign was definitely not a good one for me. But seein' as there were no other buildings in sight, I sighed and went on up to the school. In front and all around it there were hundreds more of those things that came chasin' me down earlier, but these ones were all standin' still. I got a better chance to look at em, and I noticed they came in all shapes and colors, but they all stood on four round legs. I figured they must be some kinda mechanical horse, until I saw the side of one open up and a person got out! They closed the side of the "horse" and went runnin' into the school. I watched 'em with my eyes and followed them in. There was a sign on the door sayin' somethin' or other about the doors being locked and when, but I didn't pay it no attention. Locked doors never stopped me nohow.

So the first thing I saw after another set of doors was lots of white bricks, and colorful paintings all over the walls. Evr'ything was too bright, like more light was comin' in through the windows than there should be. And on one wall, it was lined with metal blue things twice as high as me. And they had these little nobbs in the middle with tiny little numbers all 'round. I hads no idear what those were, so I jest walked down the hall. The floors were all covered with hard, smooth, shiny shapes, but they smelled like lemons or bug spray or somethin' odd like that that floors oughtn't be smellin' like. So I came to a big space in the hall where four differn't halls came together, and right there in the middle of the floor was a shape I finally recognized. It was a spade, like right off my deck o' cards! Well that set me to feelin' right at home, so I decided to keep xplorin' around.

Wonderin' where all the people was, I looked in through this big round wall made of nothin' but glass. It musta been some weird kinda glass, though, 'cause I couldn't see nothin' through it. So I went in the door next to it. Finally, I found me sum peoples in there, one behind a desk and some more in little rooms with window-walls on 'em. I went over to the lady behind the desk, a kind lookin' lady with gray hair. A little thing on her desk said "Mrs. Frobb" so I fig'red that must be her name. She looked up and asked if she could help me, but I din't think she really looked like the kind o' lady who could pull a raft out of the mud, so I said "naw" and she just smiled and kept on workin'. I shrugged and went down a little hall into another big room with a glass wall not to see out of. There was a nother little lady behind a desk, and she ast me if I was a visitor to the school. I fig'red I was, so I said so and she tol me to go sign in. She pointed to a counter with a bunch o' papers on it. I went and found the one that said "Visitor" on it, and signed "IN" on the little line. I didn't really see much point in that, but I didn't want to be startin' off on a bad note with these people until I could get my raft back out to the river.

I went off xplorin' the whole school, and all around I kept seein' blue spades, like they worshipped it or somethin'. I began to wonder if this was really a school at all if they valued gamblin' so much. But in almos' every window-wall next to a door that I peerked into, I saw lots of people not much older 'n me lookin' mighty bored, so I guesst it musta been a school after all. Out of all the people I saws, though, and I saws a lot of people, they warn't no niggers. So I fig'red it'd be best to leave po' ol' Jim out where he was.

Jus' then I herd a lil' ding go four times, and allova sudden the people started comin' out into the halls. It got real crowded real quick, and everyone had huge bags on their back that warn't helpin' at all. I got bumped into a lot, and the people didn't even say nothin' of it. Some of the girls were bendin' down and goin' "Awww" at me, which was scarin' me to no end. The boys were kinda lookin' my way, but not really sayin' much. And everyone smelled so fake! Like they'd never been anywhere in their life, like they'd never gone outside, like they'd never picked a fight or had any fun. They were all clean and shaved and sivilized- but their clothes tol a differn't story. Some o' their jeans ware ripped up, and some didn't fit and hung down real far over their butt. Nobody was wearin' ties or stockings or anything else real fancy, but still everyone was so clean that they looked sivilized even while they didn't. It confused my po' mind to no end. Then there was some peoples that dressed all in black, like they was goin' to a funeral or somethin', but again they still didn't look very fancy. Those people dressed all in black sure acted like they was at a funeral, though, never smilin' or laughin' or doin' anything but mope around the tall metal blue things. Some of the other folks did that too, but they'd be in groups and talkin' and eatin' food and openin' the metal blue things by twistin' the nobbs this way and that. I tried that on one of 'em, but it didn't work for me.

One girl came over when I was tryin' to get into the metal thing, and she says, "Hey, that's my locker!" And all sorts of stuff, accusin' me of bein' a thief and all. And while normalee I'm a thief right and through, that time I was just wantin' to see how the- what'd she call 'em? Lockers? I wanted to see how they worked. So I told her as much, and she started lookin' at me real funny, and started askin' me all sorts of questions like why I warn't in middle school, and why I was dressed so funny, and why I talked so funny, and I truthfully tried to answer her, but if ya asked me, she was the one who acted funny.

Well anyway, she finally got the idear that I warn't from around there, and then she brightened up all of a sudden. "You must be an exchange student!" She said, but I didn't know what she wanted to exchange. I reached in my pockets, an' all I had was a few pebbles. Didn't think she'd want those. She reached out her hand to shake and said, "I'm Mary, welcome to Granville High School."

"I'm Huckleberry Finn," I said, and I woulda spit in my hand to shake with her, but I didn't think that'd be a very good idear with the lady-tipe.

So Mary sed it was lunchtime, and I followed her down to where everyone et lunch. People were standin' in some long line, and sittin' around tables that were made out of some weird stuff, and the room was th' biggest one I ever saw in my whole life! It was loud, too, everyone talkin' at once. Mary took me with her into the long line, and it seemed like forever before we got through it. And all for a bunch of slop in differn't colors that didn't even smell that good. And she opened a glass box and pulled out a soft bottle of brown milk- And I didn't even know milk came in bottles, not even brown! So then she took us to some ladies with big boxes they were poking, and smaller boxes full of money. Mary gave them money for the slop, and I just stood there flabbergasted at all the money right there- It was an entired fortune! Probably even more than my six thousand dollars I gave to the judge!

Mary pulled me along by the arm before I could even think about stealin' any.

So I followed Mary around for prob'ly 'bout an hour, hearin' all about her classes and friends and teachers and whatnot. Then she pulled out a little thing out of her pocket, and started pokin' at it and stuff. When I asked how it worked, she tried to tell me about somethin' called "bat-trees." Well I didn't see how no trees full of bats would make something like that little doohickey work, so I just waved it off as another of Granville's odd ways.

Well lunchtime ended, and Mary and all the others had to go back to class. I already knowed what boredom was like, so I said bye and just decided to go back on my way. By the time the ding went four times again, the halls were as empty and quite as when I first came in. I went back out the way I came and ran across the endless rocks, back through the bushes, back to the creek bed. There where I left him was good ol' Jim, and whaddaya know, he'd dug the raft right out of the mud. So we pushed off and started back to the river, and I had enough to tell him about "Granville High School" to last to our next adventure, wherever that might be.


End file.
